The Virgin Review

Following my post yesterday I remembered this story:

During my short beach vacation this last April with my family, I was swimming with my cousins.  They were screaming and diving into the waves, begging me to get my hair wet as I trembled waist deep at the sharp, freezing pain of the Atlantic Ocean.  As I pondered how they had talked me into this, my thoughts were burst by the sudden question, blurted through salt-choked sea giggles, "Why did you peirce your nipples?" 

Instinct shot my glance instantly down to my chest as I surveyed the small peaks that roll of my ribs.  I was wearing a white bathing suit, but lucky for me, having small boobs leads you to purchase padded swimming suits, so the inch-thick foam had certainly protected me from any THO my cousins could have spotted.  I looked back up at him and responded, acting quite retrospective, "What are you talking about?"

He giggled in response and dove under a wave and that was that.

Later, after I'd climbed out of the waves and dried off in the heat of the sun, my mom came to sit beside me.  My grandma was on one side and my cousin was standing in front of me, watching her kids that were still screaming in the waves.

"Mom, Hayden just asked me why I pierced my nipples."

She laughed and looked at my chest.

"How does he know?" I asked.

"Amy probably told him." She replied.

"What!  He's six!  Why would you tell a six-year-old that his crazy New York cousin pierced her nipples.  As if this family needs any help stereotyping me.  Amy, did you tell Hayden I pierced my nipples?" I yelled.

Amy turned to me.  "I don't think so."

I looked back down at my chest.  "Well, you can't see them and even if you could, how would he know what it was anyway?"

At this, my mom whispered to me, what I barely caught as something having to do with my "grandma" and "know", but it was too late.

Just then my grandma blurted out, "You did what?"

I tried to calmly and maturely explain the entire situation.  "You didn't know?"  I asked.

"I've always respected you, every choice you've ever made.  I didn't get upset when you got your tattoo, I didn't say anything when you wanted to join the Peace Corp.  But, this…I DO NOT respect you for this."  She looked a bit defeated, her lip stuck out over her chin in a glorious pout.

"Grammy!" I protested.  "I did it 5 years ago; it's not a big deal.  I've been thinking about taking them out anyway."

"WHY would you do that to yourself?  Why?"

"Why'd you pierce your ears?" I shot back, having no other defense.  Truth was I didn't know why.  Why do you do anything when you're in college?  Isn't 'being in college' excuse enough?

"I'm disappointed in you."

"Well, I'm disappointed in you for being disappointed in me for something so silly.  Me having my nipples pierced doesn't change the person I am and you know that!"

A couple minutes later she'd forgiven me, but not before baring my chest to the world as she checked out the goods, squealing in some horrendous act of fright and disgust.

After six years of titty punctured nipple decor, I decided to take them out this morning. 

…And I still want to know who told Hayden.